Nemesis

I wasn't exactly sure what was going on with me, but I literally couldn't stop buying Zox bands. It was like I was going through a manic phase and buying Zox bands was the only thing that was keeping me sane enough to interact with the real world. I realized I had some sort of problem and told my mom. She asked me what the source was; what had happened to me recently that could've affected me more than I acknowledged. I had to think. I guess it could've been losing someone that I thought was my friend but actually turned out not to be. I guess it could have been being ghosted by a guy that I thought was good catch. I guess it could be my sister being selfish and not caring about how her decisions affect those who care about her. As I sat and thought about these things, I realized that I had made a mental barrier to keep myself from being hurt by them, and the barrier was the obsessive mania of buying something that I love, Zox bands. I had in a sense become my own nemesis by keeping the truth from myself and not allowing myself to process my feelings by being constantly distracted. Zox bands were becoming a solace, a way for me to not think about the real world, but just interact with it. Once I realized this, I started to talk about it, letting people close to me know, and appropriately giving away my bands as a sort of catharsis. I also started to talk about it to my therapist, and she was amazingly understanding and helpful to me, letting me know that I had "pressed the gas" in my time of mental and emotional turmoil, as opposed to "pressing the brakes". Now that I am more aware of it, I have my buying habit more under control (still love buying them though!), and I know how to better deal better with my life issues. I can't become my own nemesis. No one should become their own nemesis. This band is a constant reminder of that - if you are your own nemesis, then other people and situations can more easily become your nemesis too. Zox on fam <3